Who’s Side Are You On?” And Other Questions We Don’t Want to Ask

Mini-series: Unraveling the Silver Knot: Gray Divorce and the Family Web 1/3

This episode kicks off a three-part mini-series, Unraveling the Silver Knot: Gray Divorce and the Family Web. Today, I open up about the emotional rollercoaster that can happen when your adult kids take sides after a gray divorce. Whether it’s guilt, childhood baggage, or “emotional loyalty,” their reactions can leave you wondering if you totally blew it as a parent (spoiler: you didn’t).

I share relatable stories (ugly crying and all), raw emotions, and practical ways to handle the mess without making it messier. We talk about why defending yourself usually backfires, the power of sitting with your emotions, and how to heal without their approval. I even sneak in a confession about wanting to take a cooking class. Because, hey, life’s still happening—even while your heart is mending.

“Taking sides isn’t always about you—it’s often about their own unfinished business.” - Pat Fenner

Questions discussed in this episode -

● Why do adult children take sides after a gray divorce?

● How can I handle emotional tension with my kids post-divorce without adding fuel to the fire?

● What are some practical ways to protect my peace during family fallout?

● How do I stop second-guessing my worth as a parent during a tough season?

● Is it possible to heal without my children’s approval or understanding?

Resources Mentioned:

�� Episode 3-13 - Overcoming Adversity with the E.M.B.R.A.C.E. Method

�� Book - Rebuilding Your Life After a Gray Divorce: A Path to Healing, Significance, and Joy

�� SpeakPipe – How has this series helped you begin to craft a brighter future for yourself? Leave me a message and tell me about it!→ https://www.speakpipe.com/PatFenner